In a satirical tone, Femi Aribisala, in an opinion piece for Premium Times writes: “How to become a highly esteemed Nigerian”. Hooking readers with humor, using a culturally introspective and amusing form, he shares with his readers and tells fellow citizens, “Don’t speak English like an Ibadan man. Speak with the kind of phonetics that even your mother will wonder where you were born.”
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There are an estimated 170 million Nigerians. The overwhelming proportion of these will live and die unknown and unsung. Airports will not be named after them. Neither will universities be established in their honour. A hundred years from now, people will not even remember they ever existed, except that they might have some children and grandchildren hanging around.
Surely, you don’t want that to happen to you. You want to be known. You want to be rich. You want to be a man or woman of timber and caliber. There are peculiarly Nigerian ways to achieve this. The formulas have been firmly established by our good-for-nothing politicians and businessmen. But don’t worry; they don’t own the copyright to them, so you are free to follow their vainglorious footsteps.
Don’t waste your time going to school. Don’t waste time trying to develop a cure for cancer. Nigerians are not known for such endeavours, and we don’t appreciate those who waste their lives ensuring we have a better future. We are only interested in those who are committed to today.
Read full article by Femi Aribisala here